I’m convinced

proceed1. 5o% of people driving mini-vans don’t have a license or are legally blind.

2. There is a leprechaun in EVERY dryer that steals the matching sock to your favorite pair.

3. There is no real purpose for mosquitoes.

4. Dogs have a nose-to-crotch impulse which they can’t overcome.

5. Cats have an evil plan for world domination. Okay, this one might not be plausible.

6. Doctors are taught that there is a mental disorder for almost everything and a pill to cure…oh, excuse me, MANAGE the symptoms.

7. The same people that make malware, spam, viruses/worms/trojans are the same people who created Symantec Antivirus, Spybot, and other protection programs.

8. If I type in ‘guns’ on google the government will automatically put my name on the ‘watchers’ list.

9. The news is helping the rise in violent and despicable crimes. Copycats galore.

10. The time I went into the liquor store and asked for a “Buttery Nipple” when I meant “Fuzzy Navel” was one of the most embarrassing of my young life. Thank goodness the cashier barely spoke English.

11. Those male enhancement drugs will make your willy fall off. The growth is your ImAgInAtIoN.

12. Spongebob Squarepants has one of the most annoying  laughs EVA!

13. Bear Grillz is missing the common sense ‘gene’ and I love him for it. 😀

14. Soggy-butt is not a term I should have to read in a romance novel, but I did. Now I am sad. lol

So ends the in depth look to my innermost ‘mostly unrelated’ thoughts. This is what happen when you improv in writing.


6 Responses to “I’m convinced”

  1. April 27, 2009 at 8:18 am

    ROFLMAO…Sage, you are one twisted chica 🙂 And we LOVE you for it!

  2. 2 Maurya
    April 27, 2009 at 9:49 am

    I believe!!! I believe…LOLOLOLOL!!! Love this….and my cats are trying for the whole world domination thing….if only we’d let them go outside*meow*

  3. April 27, 2009 at 12:27 pm

    I am sure cats will soon have control, but my dog isn’t getting it. This is great.

  4. April 27, 2009 at 4:00 pm

    Well think about: Cats, unlike dogs, don’t really do you any favors besides looking cute and keep you company. They don’t fetch, they probably won’t guard you if a burglar enters and whops you on the head. There is even a myth that says cats sit on your chest while you sleep and steal your breath. They sleep all day (if you believe they ARE sleeping) and sit under beds in the dark watching your every move with those glowy eyes. There is something going up there in those ‘wittle’ brains. And they ain’t thinking about fancy feast. Lol (You guys know I’m just kidding right) :D:D:D

  5. April 27, 2009 at 7:54 pm

    OMG Sage, this is hilarious! I’m a believer in WFD-World Feline Domination. Everytime I look into my kitty’s eyes I see it. The look that tells me I’m under her controland one day the world will bow to her seal colored paws. 😛
    I’ve also wondered about the spyware, antivirus thing.

  6. 6 jambrea
    April 29, 2009 at 6:58 am

    OMG! lol Too funny. Thanks for the laugh!

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